Ready To Rekindle The Relationship With Your Best Friend?

You’re with yourself 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. This you already know.

Are you your best friend, though?

Think about it for a moment; the only person you will be with for sure until the day you die is you. Now read it with enthusiasm.

Isn’t it worth it, then, to establish and maintain the best possible relationship with who you truly are?

If you’re ready to reacquaint with someone you haven’t seen in a while — yourself, start with these four ideas to help you rediscover who you are under all the layers covering your RealSelf.

• Quiet the noise in the head
  You know those voices. They are constantly nagging you to pick up the dry cleaning, juggle the bills, schedule an appointment, clean your car, and do the laundry. With all that noise going on, hearing anything more profound than the surface is impossible.

And yet quieting the mind must be the first step to connecting to yourSelf.

How do you do that?
By setting time aside every day to sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and allow the thoughts to come and go without analyzing, judging, or wanting to make them something different than what they are.

“Silence is essential. We need silence, just as much as we need air, just as much as plants need light. If our minds are crowded with words and thoughts, there is no space for us.” 

Thich Nhat Hanh

• Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways.
  To do that, you must first believe you are here to make a difference in some form and that your RealSelf has something of value to offer to the world. And it does.

Since you talk to yourself more than anyone else in your life combined — and that’s a lot of talks! — it’s up to you to establish healthy communication in your thinking.

Consciously listen to how you speak to yourself; ask, “Would I say this to someone I love and respect? If the answer is no, stop doing that.

Write down the unhealthy things you say, even the ones you think about. Challenge them, and replace them with facts.

Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course, I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and move on.”

“The best thing you could do is master the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire, you are the fire.”

Mama Indigo

• Listen to your heart
  Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and connect mainly to our heads. Those two need to reconnect and work together as one to find your RealSelf. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking and talking about your emotions instead of feeling them. Remember, the only way out is through, not avoidance.

“You must have a certain level of acceptance and love for yourself before you can be at peace with who, where, and what you are, figuratively and materially. And, it’s not possible to love or respect yourself unless you are at ease unless you live with a sort of carefree abandon.” 

Om Swami

• Don’t get hung up on a specific goal
  What you’re after is a feeling — love, appreciation, gratitude, support, peace, self-esteem— instead of another trip to Target or the perfect partner. Keep an open mind to emotions, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to deal with them. Question yourself about your goals; the how and why they satisfy who you are.

The mask will come off, and your real self will shine through.

“Someone needs to encourage us: that this soft spot in us could be awakened, and that to do this would change our lives.” 

Pema Chodron.

Takeaway
A person you can know and love — you! — is waiting for you to take the time to listen, understand, accept, and forgive. Once you accept your real self again, you’ll make more intelligent choices, and those choices will stick because they fit who you are. Now, that’s what you’re looking for, isn’t it?

Thanks for reading