Real You and Unreal You…..

Do you know, you are three in one?

One is ‘Real you’ and rest two are ‘Unreal you’.
‘Real you’ is changeless and exists forever.
But ‘Unreal you’ is ephemeral and continuously changes.

Let me explain this concept.
One lady has a child. So she becomes ‘a mother’ for her child.
Actually she is ‘ an individual jiva’ with a particular type of body, mind and intellect and that’s why she is called ‘a woman/ lady.’
But the same woman becomes ‘a mother’ to her child. In this ‘becoming’ ( a mother); her body mind complex is not changed. She just gets the label of ‘a mother’;  because of her relation with the child.
She is ‘a woman’ first, and then she becomes ‘a mother’.
That means she has two identities. She as ‘a woman’ and she as ‘a mother’.
These two identities of her are ‘unreal/mithya’. Because, if she had  no child, she would not be called as ‘a mother’. And we as a man or a woman (human) must die one day for sure. And whatever is not eternal is the mithya/ unreal. ( exists for a temporary period.)

What is her Real/ True identity then?
Let’s understand-

She says, ‘I know that I am a mother.’
I know…….1st Identity
I am…..2nd Identity
a mother….3rd Identity
This first ‘I’ who knows ( aware of)  her two identities ( I as ‘a woman’ and ‘a mother’)  is her ‘Real I’.

I hope; up till now;  by reading the scriptures;  you must be knowing that our true nature/ Real I is the Nondual Self/ Sat Chit Anandam Atman.

Thus three identities of the woman are-
1. She as her ‘Essential Self/ True nature.’
2. She as ‘a woman’. The Self identified with the female body)
3. She as a mother. The woman in relation with her son.

‘Real I’ is the witness consciousness( who is aware of all) and called as ‘The Mukhyatma/मुख्यात्मा.’
This is our true identity…Our Essential Self..

The Self identifying with the body mind complex is called ‘The Mithyatma/ मिथ्यात्मा’.  The woman is considering herself as the woman because of the identification with her particular b m i/body mind intellect. And as ‘b m i’  is mithya, Atman identifying with ‘b m i’  is mithyatma . Read the real meaning of mithya here.https://os.me/short-stories/real-meaning-of-mithya-%e0%a4%ae%e0%a4%bf%e0%a4%a5%e0%a5%8d%e0%a4%af%e0%a4%be/

Same mithyatma/ woman  is given a particular label as ‘a mother’;  because of her relationship with her child. This identity is called ‘ The Gaunatma/गौणात्मा.’

Thus in reality, you are the Mukhyatma/ Essential Self.

When you ( the Self)  identify with the body mind intellect; you become a mithyatma.
Common expressions of us as mithyatma are- “I am fat,( body)”, ” I am anxious( mind)”, I am wise.

In relation with various people in our life, we become gaunatma.( e.g.father, mother, uncle, tracher, boss, etc.)

You are a single. Once you get married, you will become a husband for your wife or a wife for your husband.
When your baby will be born, you will become a father or a mother for your baby. In this way, you go on becoming gaunatma such as a son, husband, father, boss, uncle, etc,  in relation with the persons in your life.

We as the Mukhyatma remain unattached and unaffected.
As a mithyatma, we are affected by the conditions of our body, mind and intellect.

These false notions of mithyatma and gaunatma_ ‘I am this and I am that (Aham idam/ अहम् इदम्), ‘this is mine and that is mine (mama idam/मम इदम् )’  is the cause behind all the dualities like joys and sorrows in our life.

I identify with body so I suffer from the bad health.( here I as a mithyatma suffer.)
I identify with the relationships and so enjoy or suffer because of its success and failure.  love,hate, jealosy, envy, pride, anger, etc are the expressions of the emotions; we develop in different relationships.( here I as a Gaunatma enjoy or suffer.)

The mukhyatma has no notions of me and mine, you and thine. It is the one without second/Nondual Self; beyond the dualities of the world. ( Thus I as the mukhyatma never suffer.)

Tell me who sleeps at night?
Mithyatma and gaunatma sleep. ( i.e. l as a man and I as a father sleep.)
Mukhyatma is the Witness Consciouness.(Never sleeps.)

With this much understanding about our three identities,  we can employ our viveka to control and improve our  thoughts and actions in this transactional world;  so as to grow spiritually.

Real Me,  ‘Mukhyatma’ is never miserable.
My unreal identities; the ‘mithyatma’ and the ‘gaunatma’  are miserable.
The sufferings of mithyatma are less compared with that of gaunatma. Because; one as ‘a bmi / mithyatma’  has to suffer due to his own bmi conditions. But gaunatma has the sufferings of its own bmi in addition with the sufferings from his various relationships.
I.e A single man ( mithyatma) has less sufferings in compare with a married one ( gaunatma).

A man is fade up with his toxic wife.
Who is fade up?
Not the man, but the man as the husband.
A man( unmarried) will suffer only because of his own bmi conditions. If he realises that; not he;  but he as the husband is suffering, he can reduce those sufferings by reducing the identifications with that relationship. It is not giving up the relationship but giving up the sense of possession for it. Giving up the sense of possession will reduce the expectations and that is the way to reduce the sufferings.

Mithyatma is more closer to the Self/Mukhyatma. As far as possible; we must try to remain as atleast a mithyatma.  Because mithyatma is a common person belongs to the whole universe. It helps us to see whole universe as a big family and thus evolve spiritually. But  we like to become gaunatma, by  getting involved  and affected by the emotions in various relationships and hence suffer.

You will notice that gaunatma is the imaginary Self. All the  labels;  such as father, mother, son, daughter, daughter in law, friend, etc are easily removed when that particular relationship ends.
For example, a man is a husband of his wife ( gaunatma). But after divorce, the label of the husband is removed(  he is no more a gaunatma/husband  but remains as mithyatma/man.)
In this way; sister , brother, etc are the imaginations of your mind. They are the woman or man ( mithyatma); you  made them gaunatma by labelling the relationships.
This understanding helps us to reduce our expectations and reactions in turn; while interacting with the people in our life.

Agreed, While living in this vyavaharic world, as we have to interact  with the people,  we have to be mithyatma and gaunatma off and on. But we must return to our essential self/ mukhyatma as far as possible.Always be aware that you are the mukhyatma. Only for transactional purpose you are mithyatma and gaunatma. With this view, we can stop being slaved by our unreal identities.
If your mother is ill, give priority to gaunatma. Otherwise you will say I am mithyatma( just a man), and I don’t know who is the mother. This is not recommended. You have to do your duties as gaunatma;  being aware of your real nature.
When you wish to be healthy, give priotity to mithyatma. Because you as a body has to eat to be healthy….you can not tell your son to eat to make you healthy.
Beware that you are mukhyatma and only for transactional purpose you are becoming mithyatma & gaunatma.

If at workplace, your boss scolds you and you get affected, you are gaunatma. If you remain as  mukhyatma, you won’t get affected.

So next time if someone says you ‘stupid’, understand that he is taking you as gaunatma. Don’t  be gaunatma to exchange words with him;  but be the mukhyatma…the  silence..!

Day before yesterday, I was watching a cricket match on sports channel. India won the match. As ‘ a gaunatma/ Indian citizen’;  I felt happy. As ‘ a mithyatma/common individual’; I felt happy for the winning team and sad for the losing team. But as ‘ The mukhyatma; I was witnessing the emotional drama getting played by the mithyatma and gaunatma.

    Hari Om !

( Concept of mukhyatma, mithyatma and gaunatma is mentioned in the Panchadashi.)