Self Healing

Healing is my own responsibility.

Its my own duty towards self.

Absolutely no body will do it for me.

It was hard to accept. Very hard to digest. The mere thought of becoming useless, one whom society considers a burden and call insane, teared me apart. I asked myself- 

What you will get eventually from society? Just a new tag of  insanity! Or a place called पागळखाना  (asylum) and you would be written off!!! The world would run at its usual pace. You just won’t matter to anyone. Except your daughters, for whom you are risking your own sanity, no body will feel the loss.

UNCONTROLLED EMOTIONS RUN THE RISK OF LOSING SANITY.

I learnt it the hard way, after pouring out buckets full of tears, almost every day, for many months in a row. I don’t remember leaving any stone unturned in the process of finding help, support from people I know. I also went for expert opinion / guidance.

Healing is something that nobody can do it for you. What they can do is to arrange water, make you reach near it, but can’t make you drink the water. 

Friends were unable to give time, being busy in their lives. Relatives were unwilling to go beyond the FORMALITY’S SAKE line. Life partner didn’t know much beyond lending physical support in day to day chores and providing medicines. Even if he wanted, he didn’t have that specialisation to cater to psychological and emotional needs.

I felt trapped. There seemed no way out.

Gradually I understood the hard facts. Spiritual wisdom started to dawn upon me. Very slowly some shift started to happen. Courage started to build up. Wisdom started to well up.

Not even a day passed without prayers, chanting, prayers, chanting. Reading and listening to spiritual wisdom opened gateways. Om Swamiji’s books, videos, blogs were the best of best help and support. This helped. Ultimately only this helped.

Dear friends, whenever in turmoil, understand that only and only you yourself have to bear the major chunk of it. And the onus lies solely on you to bring back life to normalcy.

And believe me, this phase of acute pain and suffering is good. Very good. Once you are out of it, you get to know its deep importance. Many deep rooted tendencies surface during such pain.  Many otherwise dormant flaws come on surface. You start to recognise them, understand them. Ultimately the surgery starts. You are the surgeon and you are the patient. You are the one who is suffering and you are the one who is treating as well. Others, absolutely everyone inclusive in word – Others,  can just be a support, a helping hand. Main command is in your own hands.

My unasked for advice is –  Take care of your emotional health at any cost.  Else, this society would not think twice before showing you the OUT gate. By society I mean all types of groups – family, neighbourhood, office, social work and even spiritual groups. No one welcomes a ‘worthless’ person. Once you understand that your emotions are beyond the capacity of others to comprehend, please take charge of yourself.  Do what makes YOU feel good, without bothering much about others. Once you regain your sanity and normalcy, there would be plenty of occasions to make OTHERS feel good.

Increase your worth, expand your worthiness. 😊 

 🌻सर्वे भवन्तुः सुखिनाः  सर्वे संतु निरामया🌻