Series of ?

When i started my journey on path of self realization. I had so many questions, and no one to answer. I have so many questions and still no and to answer. Like, i tried everything watching videos, reading books, etc. I tried all that, but the questions never end. 

All my questions center was is he real. U ask he who oohhhoohho! dont get me started. Whenever u ask a question on god everyone start talking about their religions. They all try to prove that there version of god is real and all else is false. Actually the truth is that they don’t know it either, they all believe in it. They don’t know anything about it they just believe in it and start throwing there believe at you. And in the end u only end up confused even more. 

And the question remains the same. I wake up every morning and ask myself the only ‘is he real’. I mean if he is real then why not come to visit me in my small house am i that pathetic, why not come in front of everyone who wants to see u. I mean why i need to do so much tapas, i know that there are so many other people who do even more tapas than me. In front of them my tapas is nothing. But still Isn’t my love enough. I mean most of the people don’t even bother to think about u in their good times, but we do then why not visit us why play games god. 

Sometimes i feel u not even real, because if your real then why is there so much suffering. Why some people born rich and some not. Oo! u say karma. But think about it no, If everyone got the right education then why anyone go on wrong path. But the truth is only rich can get the right kind of education someone who is born in poor or in middle class can’t even have right education. Only one in thousand can have nice education because there parents had a higher mindset. But what about others, others just get stuck in worldly affairs like, buying new car to impress relative, etc, etc. And to do  that they take loan and if they can’t return that loan then their kids needs to return that. And because of that poor kids gets stuck in money matters and their half life goes in returning that loan. That’s why if u born rich u can at least have nice education and that education can be of any kind not everyone is good at school but there is lots of stuff online but u need money for that. Even though if poor gets any online course for free then he must have a nice device, nice internet connection and list goes on.

I know that what i just wrote wont make sense to so many people but i just wanted to write so.. 

And the questions doesn’t end there are a lot and NO ONE TO ANSWER, i can even write a book on this topic if i want but why waste time because there is no one to give answer. On this question and answer path u are alone.

And God if u are real then at least provide me guidance, why work in mysterious ways?  

Sorry if i said something that offends u. 

Thank you for reading.

Peace