Shadow ^-^

On a crisp and cold December night
I went out, with my sword
Through the winding pathways that
Lead me
Down towards the pond.

My battles for the day were fought
I had come out victorious.
Of course, it was a foregone conclusion.
For who else is so glorious?
Head held high, chest thrust out
I walked with a swagger in my steps
My sword needed cleaning,
My bow refitting
The pond had water in abundance.

It didn’t take long to walk there.
The night-birds did distract me
But upon reaching the waters, I got a shock
For a terrible sight awaited me.

A monster.
Mangled hair, mangled fur
Coated black with rotting blood
And a hideous grin
Hidden beneath
Layers of deadened, flaking skin.
This terrible abomination is what I saw
Reflected on these waters
This wretched sight sickened me
A shiver ran down my spine
Fear, cold fear, gripped me hard
I stood frozen, under the moonshine.

Unable to stand it, I looked away
And settled my gaze behind me
My hand hovered on the hilt of my sword
On their ends stood all my hair
But to my surprise, I saw
No terrible monster lurked there-
Just a vast and pretty, wise old tree
Looking at me
Very reassuringly.

I looked back into the waters
And the monster reappeared.
Exasperated, I threw a rock
The monster simply shimmered.
Rock after rock I threw in the pond
For his very sight made me squeamish
But the hideous grin, the hideous thing
He just wouldn’t vanish.

No no no
It cannot be
My eyes must be deceiving me
Am I the demon? Am I the monster?
Am I really what I see?

If I am a monster, I said to myself
It’s because the world has made me so.
With horrible wounds I’ve stood and fought
With blood drenched face and sharpened sword
Through endless struggles I’ve waded through
Without a care to stop.

Ho ho ho came the noise
With the wind, both chilling and deep
Ha ha ha came the noise,
Both mocking and full of mischief.
“Who asked you to not care?
Not I, not I, not I.
So engrossed you are in yourself
You don’t believe your own eye?
I am your shadow. Your companion.
Your friend.
That voice you silence when to your sword
All these ‘foes’ you condemn.

Thought you did you could
Silence me?
Hide me? Disguise me?
No more, no more, no more!
I have come for you now,
Your head I will devour!
Do I disgust you?
Are you afraid of me?
You created me, now look at your work!
Ha ha, ha ha, ho ho!
Cower, you fool, I will devour you
I will be held back no more!”

I spun on my heals and slashed
At the monster’s chest
But a shadow he was, and my sword
Had no real effect.
I simply lost my balance
And fell, tumbling to the ground.
Not one to give up, I got up
And hacked and slashed in rage
Till I was panting, tired and gasping
Dangerously close to the edge.

Ha ha, ho ho
Rang in my ears
Challenging me again to start-
To jump once more and thrust my sword
Into this foul abomination’s heart.
But as I panted, and breathed, I remembered
This abomination was my creation
I made him, I abused him
He was my work of art.

I mustered all my courage
And looked into his terrible form
There- that scar! From his childhood
When he first learned to spar!
That one! From when he forsook his lover
And ran away from Home
And that one from when he hurt his father
While in his mind brewed a storm
Oh and that one there!
The deepest scar of all
That happened when he hurt his mother
While she cried and cried alone.

Come here, old friend.
Nothing to fear you have, from me.
I have made promises and broken them
But this one I must try and keep.
Never again will I take up this sword
And wield it against me.

Forgive me, forgive me
That petulant child
And the angry youth
Forgive me, the almost-man
With prideful eyes, stained with blackened soot.

Come to me, my shadow, my friend
I shall hurt you no more.
Come to me, my shadow, my friend
Let us go exploring once more.

P.C. ‘Silhouette Photo of Woman’ by Engin Akyurt