Something Inside Me Has Changed

Ananta koti dandavat at your lotus feet oh revered Swamiji. I think the bhakti and samarpan (surrender) towards you has changed something inside me. I feel that I am no more the old Biswa. I have become something else.

I have become more compassionate; my talking style has changed. My irritation and anger have reduced. I have gathered more courage to face challenges. I am becoming more resolute. I am able to feel the pain of others and if someone is not behaving justly with me, I am not yelling like before. I am pausing, putting myself in that person’s shoes and trying to analyse the situation in a more rational manner. In one sentence, the perspective of my life has undergone a sea change.

Last month, Swamiji had thrown a challenge to be more mindful and change the sleep routine. Me, Sanghamitra and Sahil, as a family, are trying to take the challenge. Previously, our bed time routine was used to be watching something on some OTT platform or meaningless social media interaction or something which captured us in some screen time. But after Swamiji’s challenge, we decided to ditch the habit and we are no longer taking our Smart Phones to bed.

Instead, we have ordered books like Arabian Tales, Story books of Tenali Raman, Mulla Nasruddin, Tales of the Panchatantra which Sahil is reading out and we are listening. No digital intervention and we have ditched the Kindle also. It is pure joy of reading books and listening. Sahil is getting benefitted in multiple ways. First, he is building up his vocabulary, he is inculcating the habit of reading, he is learning many simple yet powerful lessons of life from the stories. We on the other hand are getting less jealous of our friends’ profile pictures 😉, meaningless news pieces at the same time easily dozing off to a night of deep sleep. Previously, we were inputting all the garbage before sleeping, but now things are totally different.

Our will power is increasing slowly and the morning waking up time has changed significantly. Even on a Sunday, we are not able to sleep beyond 7:00. On working days, it is by 6:00 and we find plenty of time and energy to do a lot of things which previously we could not do. Previously, I used to be a short cut Pujari doing Puja for less than 5 minutes. But now the story is totally different. My mechanical style Puja has suddenly become lively as if something inside me has got ignited. I was thinking it to be a placebo effect and may fade, but the thing has become so significant that before performing the Puja, I am not able to take food! Yes, I admit that I still have a long way to go. But I do remember the golden words that Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.

Things are not so good around all of us in the present situation. Few days ago, I wrote about the critical condition of my friend Srinivas Pinisetti due to COVID 19 complicacies. He is given stem cell therapy treatment. He has been injected with the first dose. His condition improved for a day, but again deteriorated. I pray to the Almighty to save the soul. At the same time may I make a request to all the kind and divine souls of this os.me to keep him in their prayers.

I don’t know but something has changed inside me. Yesterday, while I was watching the Euro Cup Football (I am an ardent lover of Football even more than Cricket) Match between Denmark and Finland an unfortunate event happened to the Danish Star Midfielder Eriksen. Me and Sahil were watching in horror as the great footballer collapsed on the field. The medics rushed in. The way he was lying down sent shockwaves inside me. He was lying as if lifeless. He was given CPR and the seen was very disturbing. But all of a sudden, I started feeling like crying. I instantly started praying God to save him.

I could not understand what triggered this reaction in me. I was skipping my heart beat as if he is one of my family members. How come I got the feeling? Why I started praying for him instantly? Why was I so desperate that “where is the Air Ambulance? Why is he not waking up?” May be Jesus is the God whom I should pray to save him and what not.. Each passing second was making me anxious. I was awake up to 11 in the night and could have a sigh of relief when I came to know that he was alive and his condition was stable. A person who was thinking of taking his own life before 8 months, has reached to such a stage that he is praying for other’s life! What has happened to me? Why the kinds of Taahira, Nalin and a lot others are creating ripples in my heart? Why am I thinking about the troubled young souls who are suffering because a spat between their parents?

I am readying up myself to take up the next challenge given by Swamiji to give up something we like the most. I have chosen the target and slowly working towards it. I have succeeded say about 60 percent till now. But I am confident that I will be able to achieve the goal with Swamiji’s blessings.

Let us all pray for all the souls in trouble. Jai Shri Hari.

PS: My bow with folded hand pranam to all of them who made financial contribution for Srinivas Pinisetti’s treatment. At the same time I apologise the us.os Team for my ignorance about the rules of posting blogs like this about raising funds. I could know the rules only after the blog was taken down. Swamiji, please forgive me for my unintended mistake.

Jai Shri Hari. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti