Source of Happiness – Decisions

I love to start my articles by sharing a story. But for this one, I found it hard to come up with one. So I took an innovative approach. How about a story on storytelling? How about I guide the reader on what prompted me to write this article? Kind of behind-the-scenes look into the mind of a writer on how he conceptualized this article?

My biggest source of ideas is my runs. After waking up early and having my morning cup of tea, when I am out on a run, my mind is fresh and brimming with all kinds of potential ideas. And what I like most about my runs is that it gives me freedom, in the truest sense. I decide when to run, where to run, how much to run, what pace to run, what to do while running (listen to music, podcast, audiobook, etc) and of course, when to stop. And then I realized, why any other activity should be any different, either at home or work, or anywhere in between? If I had the same freedom to make decisions on EVERYTHING, would it not make me happy all the time? The answer was an EMPATHATEC – YEESSSSS!!! 

So let’s dive in and look at some more use cases to drive the point further.

A school student is happiest when he is taking decisions – when to study (when there is homework or assignment, there is  a deadline or something that interests them, something they are good at) all other instances, they do not like, especially when prompted; when to wake up (typically never, and hence in weekends they hate when woken up early (aaj to mujhe sooney do, please!!), when to go to play (all the time) and when to stop playing (preferably, never)

School students are happy when they start the college selection process because of the plethora of decision-making opportunities they get. Which course to pursue, which college to go to, and how to choose the college. Once they join the college, what courses, what professors, etc. Suddenly, the individual is made to dive into a huge ocean of decision-making. They are all excited by the opportunity and how they have leapfrogged from the school scenario, where the level of decision-making was a fraction of this. Oh, did I forget to mention the freedom of what to wear (no uniforms), what to eat (no tiffin from home, etc)?

And after college, the grown-up youth gets into another stream of decision-making, what job to do, where to work, what type of role, which city, country, etc.-  the world further opens up for them in terms of the scope of decision-making opportunities.

Even on the personal front, things go to the next level. Instead of just looking for friends, now they look for a life partner. Whether it’s choosing from a bunch of friends already known or seeking out someone new, they again have a choice. And one starts feeling miserable when the choices narrow down to very few and they feel the time is running out and they have to decide between a few options.

It is when these two critical decisions have been made, that the stream of decision-making slows down or is killed COMPLETELY.

The job maybe has ZERO scope of work innovation, one is told what is to be done, how it is to be done, and when it has to be done. Do not apply your own brain because the BOSS is ALWAYS RIGHT.  

The spouse has (supposedly) a better understanding of many matters and one is NOT supposed to think of many things going forward.

As one becomes a parent, there is a newfound joy in personal life, because now, one can make decisions FOR someone and not have to get negative feedback (for a long time!). And that same joy turns sour as the child becomes independent and starts making the bulk of their decisions.

One gets some new joy at work similarly, when one gets into a managerial role and can take decisions on behalf of the team (and assume that they know what’s right for everyone, as now they are the BOSS).

Now, all this was to highlight that it’s not the job or the spouse who is the source of happiness or sadness. It’s the scope of ‘decision-making that the job or spouse allows, that is critical. 

That is the reason some people love entrepreneurship – 100% decision-making is by self. Or remain single – no one to question you.

So coming back to an ‘as-is’ moment, where a change of job or spouse is not an option, the way to be happier is to take up more ‘decisions’. What to eat, what to wear, where to go on vacations, what movie, ott platform, the color of curtains, etc. at home and similarly what client, what product, which team member, etc. there are loads of opportunities to make small decisions at work as well, that an individual can volunteer to take responsibility for and break the hegemony of an insipid role.

The moment someone is sad, dejected, or in a state of depression, they immediately have one common trait – they do not want to take any ‘decision’ they do not care what they eat, when they eat, where they sleep, what they wear, etc.; all this becomes inconsequential, life looks meaningless, purposeless and nothing is important in life.  The more they remain in the ‘no-decision’ state, the worse it becomes.  And many times, its the job or life that involves ‘no-decision’ state most of the time, that drives people towards depression. The more famous ‘mid-life crisis ‘ is also that state – people realize what they are doing is not what they had signed up for and just quitting is not an option as there are bills to be paid, kids to be sent to college, and so on.

So, in summary, if you want to be perennially happy, take up decision-making as a hobby. Take decisions when given a chance, (imagine a kid deciding which restaurant to go to, why select a particular cuisine (he has to go beyond his personal choice of pizzas and think for the family, on what place will be good for everyone). or telling your boss that you would like to take up some of the decisions on the site for the new plant or where to move the office to, etc. Decision-making ensures our brain cells are energized and the mind is active and we get into a zone where we have to think differently and more importantly, own up for the action.  

Try IT!