Starting Small, Habit Stacking and Finding Inspiration

This post has been long due. I had meant to write it in January, but now we are midway through February. This makes me feel like a latecomer to a party… but as long as we’re fashionably late, everything is forgiven, right?

A part of me feels this exercise is a little self-indulgent, so I am treating this more as a reflection than a written self-pat.

I have always been someone who has enjoyed the idea of having a set routine. I’d like to believe that when I was first handed a pen and a ruler, I proceeded to draw out a timetable. There’s a certain joy in knowing that you can control the hours and minutes that make up your life. The entirety of my childhood was defined by sketching out plans and making timetables, only for my school to come out with its own plans and timetables, which would squash all my diligent organising. So all in all, though I drooled at the idea of having the perfect set of habits and routines, nothing really lasted for more than a week.

So when the #bebettermewithosdotme initiative was announced, I decided that this time things would be different. I started out small, like really small. For the month of January, I resolved to click four abstract photos that would capture the highlights of the day. This seemed easy enough and it was something I looked forward to.

On some days, there was a lot that was happening. New shops, meeting friends, dining at restaurants. Then there were days were it was just me and my laptop. But each day, I found moments to capture. To complement this habit, I started summarising the day in ten bullet points on an app called Haema. It was all simple enough to do and there was no excuse to justify not doing it. So I did it. Thirty-one times four – 124 photos in the month of January.

Swamiji often says, “Nothing motivates like success,” and it was absolutely true in this case. This small exercise created momentum and gave me the confidence to take on bigger challenges. James Clear, the man who at this point might as well rechristen himself to Mr Habits, also shares this idea in his Habit guide: “Make it easy enough that you can get it done without motivation.”

When February rolled in, I decided to take my resolution a notch higher. So I decided to wake up at 4 a.m.

I know, I know, after all my sermonising about starting small, this sounds like a huge leap. And it is. But as per my detailed calculations (and I do a lot of these), if I could rise up at this hour, then I could meditate, exercise, have breakfast and get ready on time – all of which would be impossible to do if I woke up at seven, or eight – something I had been doing for the last few months. Besides, my favourite band has a song titled 4 a.m.

Imagine waking up at 4 a.m to an alarm tune titled 4 a.m – pretty dope in my worldview.

So the first day, I successfully woke up at four in the morning. Now I had the entire day ahead of me. I took a shower, did my cardio, meditated, prepared an oatmeal bowl and sat on the terrace, watching the sunrise, and listening to Swamiji talk about devotion. All this while I dug into my bowl of berries and oats. In short, it was glorious.

But my glory was short-lived. I went back to my room and decided to do some writing. But my letters soon turned illegible and sleep took hold of me. I began to doze, only to wake up in the afternoon, having successfully missed three entire classes.

Oh, well.

There was no point in waking up early if I wasn’t going to be in bed by nine, or at least then. ‘Early to bed, early to rise.. sounds like a bored man’s advice – that’s what I used to think. Late nights were quiet and peaceful, and giving them up was asking for too much. But then I couldn’t afford to miss three classes each day either. So when the clock struck ten, I was in my bed. Too busy sleeping to answer my roommates who were busy wondering “isko kya hogaya?”

And I woke up at four the next day! As well as the next day and the day after. One week after another. It’s usually mosquitoes biting me, but this time it was the consistency bug and my roommates asked if I could find one for them too. I realised that a habit like waking up early is like that one friend who has the biggest friend circle – you can’t invite one without inviting all of them. So waking up early meant I had to start sleeping early, be ready to shower as soon as I woke up, and go exercise. Now that I was riding the wave of success, I decided to push myself even more. I started going for morning runs, prepared my own meals (so that I could have dinner by 6 p.m.) and maintained a streak on the Black Lotus app (for the first time ever). When I started eating healthier, I lost the craving for snacks and I also cut out food that was either fried, sweet or made of dairy products. Something in me had shifted and all it took was one small habit.

Habit stacking is when you add a new habit to an already existing habit. While it was supposed to be done over a few days, or even months, the push that I received with the success of my first habit led me to take on all of the others I had been ruminating about all my life.

While it’s still too early to stay if these habits have become a part of my identity, I can safely say that I have become good friends with them. I enjoy their company and I look forward to seeing them every day. That in itself is a great leap.

Accountability also plays a huge role. When I decided to take up these habits I had also decided that I would write a reflection post – so failing to keep up with these habits would have made the whole endevaour a lot more difficult. Besides, I had already beaten the drum of my success before my family and friends, so giving up became a non-existent option.

But more importantly, I am doing this for someone whose words mean the world to me (you all know who he is :). I do believe what you do should be for yourself, but this also means that in moments of self-doubt and despair, it’s much easier to give up. When you do it foe someone you value, its easier to keep going.

For the next month, I am planning on resolving to not utter a lie. Despite my past resolutions, I have ended up speaking a white lie here and there. This one seems more challenging, but that’s what life is about, right?

If you made it to the end of this post, thank you! Writing this was quite different from my usual process, but I enjoyed it. I hope this sounded less as a self advertisement and more of a reflection on how community, consistence and clarity can help us make the changes that we want.

It starts small, always.