Stillness

In March 1, 2022, Om Swami released the Sadhana app on the Mahasivaratri day. On accessing the app, I hadn’t the slightest clue that it would awaken a sleeping giant called Greed inside me. I thought I was advancing spiritually, but little did I know that the deeper aspects of my mind have many demons in the form of sleeper cells. The reason is, to some extent I have done little mantra chanting and am very well aware of the benefits of it. Seeing so many mantras, yagnas, nitya pujas and abhiseka for all the deities in the app felt like – how a thief, who encounters a mountain full of treasure by chance and is unable to digest what all he can do with it. On one aspect, I was amazed at all the features of the app; on the other hand, I was embarrassed at how my mind was reacting to it. I wondered, “Is my Sadhana strength so feeble, that at the slightest flutter, the whole foundation is shaking”.

The excitement due to the amazing features in the app created a kind of restlessness inside me. When meditation or mantra chanting leads to restessness in the subtle subconcious mind, I take rest for a few days. when the restlessness settles and balance is regained, I resume my practice. But, somehow this time my restlessness did not abate. Few days became a week and then two weeks. Even after two weeks the situation was no different. I was at a loss as to what’s to be done to reset the balance in the mind.

It was the night of full moon. I had finished my clinic work and was resting in my bed. At around 11.30 p.m, I was browsing through  youtube. Accidentally or coincidentally I came across the first video for which I have given the link below. It was by Dr.M.A.Hussain. He has a Doctrate in Tamil literature and is well versed with the classical Tamil. He is also a member of the shaivite committee delegated to the french government by the Govt. of India. The lecture was given during a shiva temple kumbabhishekam. His talks are mostly on Thirumoolar’s Thirumandiram and Saint Vallalar. Though he is a Muslim by birth, after reading the works of Saint Vallalar, he gave up meat eating and became a follower of Saint Vallalar. His speech in Tamil was filled with devotion and it enthralled me so much, that the restlessness in the subtle mind came to a stand still. 

video 1.

After finishing the video 1. I found it so good that I listenend to it for the second time as well. You tube’s chain link of videos lead me to watch one more, video 2. This is by an initiate sanyasi of Saint Vallalar tradition( they wear only white instead of the saffron robe) who has dedicated his life for teaching the Saint’s philosophy. In this video, the talk is about ‘Nirvana’ and I found the meditation technique of Saint Vallalar which was  mentioned in my earlier post. The meditation technique starts from the 28th minute in video 2. It felt like a God send gift to me for it solved my restlessness. For the next few days, the stillness was so intense that I couldn’t chant or pray. The mind was totally calm and peaceful.  How the vices like lust, anger etc, stand around the corner of the mind waiting to pounce once the mantra chanting is over, I found the mantras and prayers standing around the corner waiting to pounce once the stillness is over. Such was the depth of the stillness. I enjoyed the stillness as it circulated within my mind for a few days and I was back to normal. I then started to use the Sadhana app without any restlessness. 

video 2.

For people who are familiar with the Tamil Language (unfortunately no subtitles is present in other languages), these two videos will be a bridge to understand that the devotional songs of the Saints were indeed techniques to still the mind. That’s excellently explained in both the videos.

I believe, stillness is the answer for all kinds of vices of the mind including the spiritual ones which was spiritual greed in my case.