Swami Vivekananda- The Art of Gentleness

To be spiritual has always been also understood as being gentle 

Unfortunately, being gentle has always been misunderstood and misinterpreted as being soft or to be weak. The weak are gentle not by choice. Because they are incapable of making a strong imprint, they’re gentle. Gentleness is of value only when it’s by choice. 

You are capable of being violent but you choose to be gentle- that’s of great value. You’re incapable of violence, now you are gentle- that’s not of any great value because that’s coming from a certain incapability. 

In the evolution of one’s actions…….

If you look at the evolution of an action, the initial part of the action will always be violent. As you become more expert with something, you will see those rough edges in your action go away and it becomes smoother and smoother and there will be no violence in your action. Still intense but in victory, energy, and ecstasy, not in a violent manner. 

There are many symbols like that here if you peel your eyes and see, where it is intense but not violent. 

Is something wrong with violence 

It’s not a question of right and wrong, it’s just a crude way of conducting life. If you say violence is bad, that means you will end up rejecting a part of yourself and you can never get rid of it because it will not go away. It will come out in so many ways. People who are very capable on the street are violent at home. If they are not capable of physical violence, they are verbally violent, they are violent in their thought and emotion- in so many ways.  

Can we reject violence 

Rejecting violence is not going to work. Evolving violence into a more sophisticated action………

The need for that intensity is always there in every human being. If you do not define and refine that need for intensity, and manage to experience that intensity by simply sitting in meditativeness, or in devotion, love or simply pure action. If you do not find refinement, and still find intensity, violence will erupt from you in so many different ways.

You may not have the courage to get into a physical fight, but it will happen in so many different ways and life turns ugly. It will enter every sphere of your life and the way you take things and keep things you will know whether you’re gentle or violent, you know.

There’s a very beautiful incident which happened in the life of Swami Vivekananda- After his Guru Ramakrishna attained samadhi, he wanted to take his Master’s message to the West. So he wanted to go and do this. He wanted to seek the permission of Sarada Devi, who was Ramakrishna’s wife. He went to see her and she was busy cooking in the kitchen. 

When he went and said this, she was focused on what she was doing. Without looking up, she listened to him. 

He said, “I want to go to the Western world and spread the message of my Master. Shall I go”.

So without looking up from the chores that she was doing, she said, ”Naren, can you give me that knife?” So he picked up the knife and gave it. He’s a certain kind of person, so he gave it in a certain way. She took the knife and kept it aside and she said, “You may go”. Then he noticed this and he said, “Why did you ask for the knife?  You have no vegetables to cut, everything is already in the pot. Already in the pot, on the boil, why did you ask for the knife? There was no need for the knife, why did you ask for it?”  

She said, “I wanted to see how you would give the knife. You may go and spread the Master’s message.” 

So this is where gentleness is. 

Where and when is gentleness needed

Not because somebody’s watching, not because you’re under scrutiny. 

Just the way you move, how you step on the planet, how you breathe, how you sit, how you stand, how you look at other people — this is where you have to refine your action. Now, it’s not the case with mindfulness, no- being mindful of everything – no.

I’m talking about refining your physical action, your verbal action.

With this, slowly, your mental action and emotional action also can be refined.

Just move your hands and legs more gently.

When can this refinement happen 

This refinement can happen either because you become meditative or you consciously refine it so that you move towards meditativeness. It’s good you start from both ends.

If you want to reach the destination, it’s good to start from every possible end, so that you get there quickly enough. If you want to burn the candle quickly, you burn it from both ends. If you burn it from only one end……one end, it may take a lifetime. 

Conclusion 

You want to enjoy at least half a lifetime of meditativeness- you must burn it from both ends. Hence, you may be practising meditation but also consciously refining your physical action—the way you move your hands, the way you move your body, the way you move your breath, and your words. This is not about being pretentious. This is about becoming conscious.