The Exam Ghost

Jai Shri Hari and Swamiji for the infinite grace and bliss on our family. Yeah, last 10 days mein bada ragad k kaam le rahe the aap! So, I was totally lacking time. And one nice thing has happened: My inspiration points surpassed my interaction points! Can you believe it, at least I cannot! I could inspire so many on this os.me platform, wow it is an awesome feeling in itself. In my last post, I offered my gratitude for having completed half-century of blogs and today I am writing with Inspiration Points being more than the Interaction Points, what more could I have asked for (I am really in tears Prabhuji)

Actually, now I am in my Home town Bhubaneswar on a long awaited vacation of one week. We arrived here yesterday. You know, asking one week of leave is like asking the kidneys of your boss 😜 The boss will pressurize you to finish the work as if you will never return! 😆🤣That’s why I was busy like anything. Anyway, let us come to the much awaited today’s topic “The Exam Ghost”.

Yeah, this ghost has been haunting me since I started to know the meaning of exam in class 3. I did not know the meaning of ‘Tension’ at that time🤔, but I was experiencing the same. It grew larger and larger with passage of time. It so happened that, I could not sleep properly the night before the exam. My eating habit would go haywire. I clearly remember that even during my MSc. Exams, my mother would be after me to take my food. And finally she would feed me with her own hands with vomiting sensation ruling all through my body.🧐

I wish had Swamiji been there at that time to shoo away the ghost☹️.. The ugliest of all ghosts was the Math Exam Ghost. Its attack was like adding fear, subtracting confidence, multiplying confusion and dividing energy 😡🙃🤪 The more careful I used to be in the exam, the more silly mistakes I would make and kick myself for the same. Example of one silly mistake which I committed in class 8, was 10 x 10 = 20, how on earth, could one make such a mistake🤔! In intermediate exam, I was not able to find the cube root of -1 (minus 1), obviously it is -1. If you multiply -1 three times, you would get the result straight away.

In Matriculation examination, I was a state ranker. I had a state rank of 7 in the class 10th board exam in the year 2000. That time Odisha State Board used to declare the top 10 students (known as Best 10) on the day of result. I stood at no. 7 in the list! But in that exam also I committed a hara-kiri in Geometry Paper. Without properly reading the question, I answered the first question of 5 marks. I had to prove a theorem assuming some given parameters.

I did the exact opposite i.e. I assumed the part to be proved and proved the part to be assumed and lost 5 marks straight away in the first question itself. The examiner definitely would have thought what a bhondu guy!He would never have thought that I could ever make it to the top 10 merit list 😁. But other subjects held me strong and propelled. I think that’s why goes the famous saying, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” which is equally applicable for investment and Share Market.

The exam ghost🎃 would haunt me in my dreams which can be broadly categorized as follows

1.       I was getting delayed for exam

2.       I had studied the wrong subject and the exam was for another subject

3.       I got the question paper, but I was not getting any clue as the chapters which I had left out, all have filled the question paper

4.       I was just able to remember the answer to a question, but the final bell would ring and my answer sheet would be snatched away

5.       The pen, I was writing with, would run out of ink

6.       I did not bring the Geometry Box for the Geometry Exam

7.       I forgot the non-programmable simple calculators (which were allowed in BSc and MSc. Exams) to the exam

8.       Ink spill on my nicely finished answer sheet

9.       I had solved the paper very nicely, but could not bubble the OMR sheet on time and was dejected (actually, I lost Reserve Bank Grade B exam in this manner)

10.   I was barred from the exam and booked under malpractice as the student sitting beside me threw the copy chit under my legs during the visit of Flying Squad invigilators.

(You can add yours in the comment section if you have any such peculiar ones and can vote for the best from the 10 syndromes above!🙏)

Chemistry was the height of my fear in intermediate. Those alkenes, alkynes and alkyls just killed me multiple times and those notorious 3 Butyl 4 Methyl Organic Demons with all the exceptions possible on earth would drive me crazy. You have a rule and you would definitely have at least one exception to the rule, then what the heck was the rule for? 🎃 . I lost my rank in the top 20 list of Odisha State Board only because the mysteries of the great Chemistry😭! The Organic, In-organic, Physical Chemistry with all the molality and molarity, catalysts, reagents were like the agents of the movie MATRIX who appeared from anywhere at any time.

Till date I am having these nightmares, I don’t know when Vrinda Maa underneath my pillow (in the form of her “A Prayer That Never Fails” will make it rest in peace! Maa, please do something). I would either be thrown to my intermediate exam time in the nightmare to fight with the Chemistry ghost or would be solving a triple integration linear, surface and volume in my Mathematical Physics exam. I would be chattering the Maxwell’s 4 equations of Electromagnetic Theory or exponential decay equation of Radioactivity😜😁🧐. My forehead would be totally sweating and Sanghamitra would wake me up.

Now she is well accustomed with these things. The first thing she would tell in my ears is “You are a working professional in Department of Atomic Energy and not a Student🙃. You draw a hefty 6 digit salary and the govt.🤪 won’t throw you away if you forget Schrodinger’s equations or Einstein’s Theory of Relativity 😀 Just calm down and drink some water.” Then I would go back to sleep again.

Now Sahil is also acquainted with all these non-sense and he would pinch in saying, “Oh, come on Papa, now-a-days I am writing exams. I have no tension, then why are you tangled in your past till now. Let go those anxious moments from your subconscious mind. Release it. Just tell it that oh, exam ghost🎃 you are now non-existent, I am not the Vikramaditya to carry you any further everyday night.😂”

Yes, I think he is right. Actually the pressure to perform well in the exam and the ambience of my upbringing might have instilled all these ghosts in my mind. But it is high time that I got rid of it and don’t pass on the undesirable legacy to Sahil.

Swamiji, please help me in this process. As per the challenge, I am trying to give up criticizing others and I think, I am successful to a lot of extent. But the other thing which I promised to give up, is not yet possible. As you know that, I am very curious and in learning phase, it is hard to resist the thing. Once, I reach to a certain stage of saturation and analysis, it will slowly reduce🙏. You know what I am talking about. As it is one of my Sadhanas, I cannot make it public now🤐.

Jai Shri Hari, Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti…🙏🙏🙏