The Sense of Unworthiness

Jai Sri Hari dear osme family. This is a poem which I wrote way back, perhaps, in a particularly low-mood. Today was not a good day for me and my emotions are not in my proper control. I feel low. The poem is a little on the dark side but it does not speak of my truth as of today. It is just a poem.

Had it been really worthy

Of the very early demise

Of laden insincerity

Of fun and recklessness

Of love, never found

I would have lived with it

And felt proud, but I don’t

I don’t hear others for decision

It just comes from inside

It was not at all worthy

This life which has left 

Hanging on the shoulder of misfortune

And through the eyes of comparison

I sense it was not really how I’d like it

Life is of course more than

The likes and the dislikes

Even in the journey he takes

The traveler should sense value

Real worth and feel pride 

In the obstacles and the wows

He confronted, but I don’t 

If I could just get one chance

I can fill this life with

A disagreeing contrast

Of not truth and beauty

But of Lies and vanity

 But I don’t want to

A tint for this life

Shall I create then or not?

I ask and get no answer.

And this sense of unworthiness

When it strikes you

It strikes you hard

Disagreement becomes a part

You disagree to your existence

Shout, cry, wean, and burst into anger

Sleep

Last night I thought the forbidden

But, I live-up this unworthiness again