The Witty Mulla Nasruddin Jokes Part – III

Sastang Pranam at Your Feet Swamiji.

This is the third part of the great Mulla Nasruddin jokes.

• The wife of Mulla Nasrudin told him that he had not been sufficiently explicit with the boss when he
  asked for raise.
  ”Tell him,” said the wife, ”that you have seven children, that you have a sick mother you have to sit
  up with many nights, and that you have to wash dishes because you can’t afford a maid.”
  Several days later Mulla Nasrudin came home and announced he had been fired.
  ”THE BOSS,” explained Nasrudin, ”SAID I HAVE TOO MANY OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES.”

• ”I knew an artist once who painted a cobweb on the ceiling so realistically that the maid spent hours
  trying to get it down,” said Mulla Nasrudin’s wife.
  ”Sorry, Dear,” replied Nasrudin. ”I just don’t believe it.”
  ”Why not? Artists have been known to do such things.”
  ”YES.” said Nasrudin, ”BUT NOT MAIDS!”

• One night Mulla Nasrudin came home to his wife with lipstick on his collar.
  ”Where did you get that?” she asked. ”From my maid?”
  ”No,” said the Mulla.
  ”From my dressmaker?” snapped his wife.
  ”NO,” said Nasrudin indignantly. ”DON’T YOU THINK I CAN BE SELF-RELIANT AND HAVE ANY FRIENDS OF MY OWN?”

• The wedding had begun, the bride was walking down the aisle. A lady whispered to Mulla Nasrudin
  who was next to her, ”Can you imagine, they have known each other only three weeks, and they are
  getting married!”
  ”WELL,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”IT’S ONE WAY OF GETTING ACQUAINTED TO A DISASTER.”

• Mulla Nasrudin and his two friends were discussing what they would do if they awoke one morning
  to discover that they were millionaires.
  The Spaniard friend said he would build a bull ring.
  The American friend said he would go to Paris to have a good time.
  And, Mulla Nasrudin said HE WOULD GO TO SLEEP AGAIN TO SEE IF HE COULD MAKE
  ANOTHER MILLION.”

• A middle-aged woman lost her balance and fell out of a window into a garbage can. Mulla Nasrudin,
  passing remarked: ”Americans are very wasteful. THAT WOMAN WAS GOOD FOR TEN YEARS
  YET. THIS PROVES THAT AMERICANS ARE THE GREATEST CONSUMERS AND BELIEVE IN USE AND THROW!”

• The editor of the town weekly received this letter from Mulla Nasrudin:
  ”Dear Sir: Last week I lost my watch which I valued highly. The next day I ran an ad in your paper.
  Yesterday, I went home and found the watch in the pocket of my brown suit. YOUR PAPER IS
  WONDERFUL!”

• Mulla Nasrudin had been out speaking all day and returned home late at night, tired and weary.
  ”How did your speeches go today?” his wife asked.
  ”All right, I guess,” the Mulla said. ”But I am afraid some of the people in the audience didn’t
  understand some of the things I was saying.” ”What makes you think that?” his wife asked.
  ”BECAUSE,” whispered Mulla Nasrudin, ”I DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM MYSELF.”

• Mulla Nasrudin, a distraught father, visiting his son in a prison waiting room, turned on him and said:
  ”I am fed up with you. Look at your record: attempted robbery, attempted robbery, attempted
  burglary, attempted murder. WHAT A FAILURE YOU HAVE TURNED OUT TO BE; YOU CAN’T
  SUCCEED IN ANYTHING YOU TRY. ALL ARE ATTEMPTED!”

• The lawyer was working on their divorce case. After a preliminary conference with Mulla Nasrudin, the lawyer reported back to the Mulla’s wife.
  ”I have succeeded,” he told her, ”in reaching a settlement with your husband that’s fair to both of
  you.”
  ”FAIR TO BOTH?” cried the wife. ”I COULD HAVE DONE THAT MYSELF. WHY DO YOU THINK I
  HIRED A LAWYER?”

• Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends had been drinking all evening in a bar. The friend finally
  passed out and fell to the floor. The Mulla called a doctor who rushed him to a hospital. When he
  came to, the doctor asked him, ”Do you see any pink elephants or little green men?”
  ”Nope,” groaned the patient.
  ”No snakes or alligators?” the doctor asked.
  ”Nope,” the drunk said.
  ”Then just sleep it off and you will be all right in the morning,” said the doctor.
  But Mulla Nasrudin was worried. ”LOOK, DOCTOR.” he said, ”THAT BOY’S IN BAD SHAPE. HE
  SAID HE COULDN’T SEE ANY OF THEM ANIMALS, AND YOU AND I KNOW THE ROOM IS FULL
  OF THEM.”

• Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends were attending a garden party for charity which featured
  games of chance.
  ”I just took a one-dollar chance for charity,” said the friend, ”and a beautiful blonde gave me a kiss. I
  hate to say it, but she kissed better than my wife!”
  The Mulla said he was going to try it. Afterwards the friend asked: ”How was it, Mulla?”
  ”GOOD,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT NO BETTER THAN YOUR WIFE.”

• A highway patrolman pulled alongside Mulla Nasrudin’s car and waved him to the side of the road.
  ”Sir your wife fell out of the car three miles back,” he said.
  ”SO THAT’S IT,” said the Mulla. ”I THOUGHT I HAD GONE STONE DEAF.”

• Mulla Nasrudin had been placed in a mental hospital, for treatment. After a few weeks, a friend
  visited him. ”How are you going on?” he asked.
  ”Oh, just fine,” said the Mulla.
  ”That’s good,” his friend said. ”Guess you will be coming back to your home soon?”
  ”WHAT!” said Nasrudin. ”I SHOULD LEAVE A FINE COMFORTABLE HOUSE LIKE THIS WITH
  A SWIMMING POOL AND FREE MEALS TO COME TO MY OWN DIRTY HOUSE WITH A MAD
  WIFE TO LIVE WITH? YOU MUST THINK I AM CRAZY!”

• The minister was congratulating Mulla Nasrudin on his 40th wedding anniversary. ”It requires a lot
  of patience, tolerance, and understanding to live with the same woman for 40 years,” he said.
  ”THANK YOU,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT SHE’S NOT THE SAMEWOMAN SHEWAS WHENWE WERE
  FIRST MARRIED.”

Thank you one and all for your patience. Jai Shri Hari…