The Worst Invention Ever!

Note: This is the second exercise in Day 2 of the writing workshop. We are to write a story about a prop: an alarm clock in this instance. Medha Shri interjected with a bunch of phrases, which we were to use in the writeup. I’m not highlighting which phrases she sent our way 🙂

Edison’s light bulb changed the world.

There is another invention which irrevocably changed the world. But not in the Edisonesque way; rather, in a Machiavellian way. The alarm clock.

The alarm clock hasn’t changed my world – it turned my world upside down, rocked it left, right and center, like an earthquake. My life has never been the same. 

Sleep is Bliss

They say ignorance is bliss.

I say sleep is bliss. Why would anyone invent anything that comes between me and sleep? What did I do to them? Why this kolaveri di?

The inventor of the alarm clock surely intended to effect a positive change. He must have been clearly confused.

You tell me that the alarm clock serves a good purpose, that it gets kids on time to school, people on time to work, and more examples that sound nice on paper?

Flash News: Zombies at Large in Workplaces

Go to any random office at 9 am and pick any person at random.

I’ll bet you good money that you’ve found a zombie. People come to work showing up with a whole piece of their brain. Whole, because their brain goes wherever their body does. A piece, because the the rest of it is still in zzz-land.

The I-Have-To-Get-My-Kid-Ready Mother Story?

Alarm clocks wake mothers up to get their children ready.

So they tell me. “But Mama I’m hungry”, the kids will call out to their mother, I’m told, if the mother chooses to sleep late. I have a counter question to the kids. You need food for the stomach. What about your mother – doesn’t she need oxygen (food) for her brain? Do you want to deprive her of much needed brain-food just because you need food?

Kids today are so spoiled. In our times, we never made such extravagant demands. Kids demand food today. What will they demand tomorrow? When will the demands stop?

Tell your kids to take a hike, and get that extra hour of sleep, I tell mothers.

Everyone Has a Choice in Life

“But you have zero choice. You must use an alarm clock to wake up early”, you tell me?

I have news for you, sonny boy. 

I can do whatever the heck I please. Everyone always has a choice. 

I have the choice to choose sleep over that client meeting.
I have the choice to skip my kid’s dance recital.
I have the choice to laze around, and do nothing to add value to society.
I have the choice to be a bum.

I have the choice, my friend. 

And I exercise my choice to stay away from this insidious contraption. 

You Imagined What?

You imagined that I wake up early with the help of the alarm clock? After reading this far?

That is seriously funny.

“Waking up early is beautiful pain”, say some philosophers.

Sleep is joyous joy, I retort back.

Some people want world peace. I have no such lofty goals. All I want is a world where there is no alarm clock.

A world where the sweet sorrow of waking up early doesn’t exist.

Conclusion: A Call for Sensibility

I think anybody who considers themselves sensible has only one recourse.

To bid goodbye to the alarm clock and welcome back a long lost friend.

Sleep.

Image Credit: Clipart-library.com