Time to Find Answers

In this world each and every soul is on its unique journey,  different levels, different  spots. But  os.me is one such place where I do find a lot of practical help in sorting and streamlining my journey ahead. 😊

This week I spent around 48 hours at a stretch in the company of  few relatives. It was on a sad occasion as a 21 years old son of our cousin had a sudden exit from this world.  This news of an untimely death impacted my emotions. But, little did I know that the 48 hours I spent with relatives are going to impact my system even more deeply.

We three from my home had gone with two more relatives from Noida to Jalandhar. It was the third day after the death and the uthwani (final gathering) was between 1.30 pm to 2.30 pm, at the Gurudwara sahib. We had gone by train a night before and stayed in a nearby hotel. After spending few hours with the parents of the boy, we came back to our hotel for the next day’s train journey back to Noida.

During this time, it seemed very complex to  me to adjust to the NORMAL, in fact very normal, pattern of talks of the people around, right from Noida till we were back. There was no sign of grief, no sadness in their talks, no sign of anybody missing out anything. In fact the usual talks revolved around every tiny mundane affair of this life.  Ladies as well as gents – all were equally involved. Not all, but most of the people among the close relatives were behaving most practically.

I understand that now I have become a person of less words when it comes to social get-togethers. To me one-to-one talks are much more comfortable . But this choking feeling inside my system is surely new to me. Am trying to sort out myself and my inner heaviness.

While on our way to pay our condolences and share the grief of the bereaved family, people are much more concerned about their own comforts during the 5 hour’s train journey along with the taste of food.  While sitting with the sad mom of the boy, ladies didn’t hesitate to discuss whatever comes to their mind!  And after coming out of the place of gathering, the Gurudwara Sahib, the whole Pandora Box was opened. It was as if all relatives were meeting on some normal, if not joyous, occasion.

Well, it’s absolutely okay to ask everyone about their well-being and health as during this covid era physical meetings are happening after a long gap.  But changing gears with such an ease is simply surprising. One moment you are showing your sad emotions and within two-three minutes you are in a happy mood.  How is it possible?  At least I felt an unease in adjusting in such an environment. My system simply can’t change gears so quickly. I  felt like a total misfit there.

Is this how society functions, at large?  Does it happen everywhere?  Or am I feeling and behaving in an unusual manner? I just am unable to even form the right questions which may convey how chocked am I feeling.

Now, after pouring and sharing myself here some calmness would surely emerge. A talk with people who you feel would understand, helps find  answer to our questions. Isn’t it.

Jai shri hari 🌹