Time to Shift Gears…

Time To Shift Gears…

My Own Reflection

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I’m in my late twenties now. At this stage, we get married and start our family lives. Many of my friends are already married. Some are still hanging around like lonely ghosts like me 🤪. Well, everybody has their own reasons. But, it’s almost like an indubitable fact that everybody would get married one day. Our society expects this from every eligible individual. Nobody even asks—“Should I get married?”. Society creates a huge pressure on every male and female of prospective age. 

In the olden days, humans used to follow the four-fold states of life—the chaturashram system. First twenty-four years, a child was supposed to be in the brahmacharya. That was the time for educating oneself and acquiring the necessary skills for life. After that, one would enter the grihastha ashram—the householder stage of life. Taking care of the family and doing good to society. After the children would become adults, capable of maintaining their own families, parents would choose to go to the forest—to start the third stage of life, vanaprastha. And at the last quarter of their lives, they would completely renounce the world and take the vows of sannyasa. It was a brilliant way to conduct life. But, things are different now. 

In this 21st century, over 98% of people choose to remain in the householder stage. Only one or two percent take up sannyasa. That tradition of following the four stages of life is largely gone. Perhaps, it is the demand of this age. But, in that way of life, there was a sense of direction. Everybody intuitively understood—the goal of life is liberation or mukti. And life had four purusharthas—dharma, artha, kama and moksha. Living that way ensured the fulfillment of all these purusharthas. Thus, one lived a complete life, fulfilling every aspect of life. But, in this age of Kali, which is characterized by excessive bhoga (enjoyment) and agyanta (ignorance), it seems, humanity has forgotten the goal of life. Everybody is chasing an illusory world of pleasure and indulgence. Aren’t we? 

To live in these terrible waters of sansar, yet not lose one’s balance and clarity of life’s purpose—is a great task to accomplish. Sansar is tricky; full of enchantment, promises and pleasures. Lifetimes would end, but one would still not get over the fascination of chasing sansar—such is its maya. From the spiritual point of view, there’s great danger in it. One can easily fall, get lost and may never find his way again. One cannot walk the spiritual path with a divided heart. Spirituality demands everything we’ve got to give away to find out the Truth. With sansar in the heart, one cannot be spiritual. 

Things get easy when your partner is also a spiritual traveller. Then the journey becomes quite meaningful and fulfilling at the same time. But, the idea of going into married life just for the sake of it, because society asks so, just for one’s own desires and insecurities—is untenable to me. People are at different stages of evolution in terms of consciousness. This idea is totally unacceptable to me, but for others, it may not be so. Others may find no problem at all with this idea. I’m okay with that. I have no complaints against them. They say and do what they know best. But, my life is my responsibility, no? Why should others dictate what I should do and should not? Why don’t they say,“Go, find out your own truth”, instead of saying, “Go, get married. Do as we say.”? 

Marriage is neither good nor bad. But, marriage is certainly not for everybody. Because everybody doesn’t have the same desires and aspirations. And besides, everyone’s level of evolution is different. One should choose accordingly. Isn’t that the right approach? 

But, I’m faced with an interesting dilemma here. How can we renounce everything at this stage? There are responsibilities to fulfill, education to complete and life goals to achieve. Stuck-in-between kind of situation. I’m sure many will relate to this. Maybe the heart is saying to go for spirituality, but circumstances and liabilities don’t let that happen. There’s no common answer to this dilemma. It entirely depends on one’s spiritual evolution and the intensity of longing. If desires are still strong and responsibilities are at hand, it is sane to get into family life. But, if spirituality is what you strongly relate to and feel for, and you have done sufficient work on your desires, you are ready to embark on the spiritual journey. 

So, while shifting gears in life, always ask yourself: where am I heading?…

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P.S: This was the second post of The Write Choice challenge. Read the first post here:

Sadhana of the Speech.

Thank you. 

Image Credit: istockphoto.