To End Conflicts…

To End Conflicts…

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We live in conflicts. Our daily life is fraught with all kinds of conflicts—both internal and external. But, what happens externally is only the reflection of what happens within our minds. Out of conflicts, clashes are born, and comes a host of other negative states, like confusion, internal struggle and guilt. Have you ever noticed all this? A mind which is in conflict is at war with itself. So, how do we end conflicts? 

Before going into the question, let us first understand the nature of conflicts. How does it arise? Well, what does the word ‘conflict’ mean to you? Does it not mean ‘an internal clash’? Whenever two thoughts contradict each other, conflict is born. For example, let us suppose, you are meditating. You decide to sit upright and focus on your breath for a certain amount of time. But, as it happens, all kinds of thoughts come. The thought of watching YouTube came. And conflict started. Now you are pulled in two different directions. Thus, a conflict was created.

Now, what can we do, what are the options that we can exercise whenever we face a conflict? We can either suppress our thoughts, which, by the way doesn’t help at all to end conflicts; or, we can look away from our conflicts and distract ourselves, as if nothing has happened. This is what we normally do. We either suppress our thoughts or distract ourselves. But, conflicts remain. 

And there are innumerable such conflicts in our heads which we are carrying everyday. Because we have not resolved them. 

Now, coming to the question of how to end conflicts, I have a personal story to share. After reading the story I hope you’d be enlightened! Just kidding ☺️!

I am a vegetarian. I don’t eat any non-veg food. But I was not a vegetarian eight years back. My whole family is non-vegetarian. So, from my childhood, I too adopted that eating habit. And I was fond of fishes. I used to relish dishes of fish. But one day, I decided to quit non-veg. And from that day on, I have never consumed any non-veg thing again; and am determined I will never. 

So, it happened just like that? You may ask. Well, yes. It didn’t take any effort whatsoever to quit non-veg. It happened very effortlessly. So much so that even I get surprised often when I think about it. 

But, that’s only half the story. As easy it may sound, it’s not. Anyone who has a longtime habit would under how difficult it is to suddenly switch to something completely different. To suddenly become a vegetarian from a non-veg lifestyle is a drastic change, to say the least. Everybody in my family was shocked. They tried many times to persuade me. They even served me non-veg foods many times, but I used to keep it as it were without even touching it. They learnt, it’s of no use. But the reason I’m depicting the story is—ever since then, I have never experienced any conflict whatsoever, not even for a single day. I never regretted my decision or never felt the urge to go back to previous lifestyle. The habit left me quite effortlessly, despite the fact that I had been a non-vegetarian since my childhood. I was nineteen when I left non-veg for ever. 

Why I quit non-veg—the reason is not important here. So, I’ll not go into that. But I think you can learn from my story. 

You see, I was absolutely clear about my decision. I knew why I was taking that decision. So, no second thoughts ever came. No conflicts ever disturbed me. And it taught me an important lesson: when we are absolutely clear about something, conflicts don’t arise. It’s only when we lack the clarity of thought, conflicts come. It’s only when we don’t resolve our desires and fears completely, do conflicts continue to roll. But when we do something with absolute conviction—when ‘yes’ is ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is only ‘no’ to us and there’s no second thought about that—we are established in our minds. There’s no deviation then. So, conflicts fall off naturally. 

Have you got it? It’s a powerful way to resolve conflicts. So, the crux of the issue is clarity. If you have clarity about something, conflicts regarding that cease to exist. 

Last Words

Understand your desires and fears. That’ll bring the necessary clarity. Once clarity is there, the seeds of conflicts dissolve. Once our intellect gets firmly convinced about something, we become invincible. Fleeting desires and feeling fail to deviate us then. 

So, this was the way. I hope you’d find it useful. 

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P.S: Thank you for reading this patiently. This is the fourth post of The Write Choice challenge. 

Previous posts:

1. Sadhana of the Speech.

2. Time to Shift Gears…

3. Maya: The story of A Parrot.

Image Credit: istockphoto.