Towards Becoming Whole

I set my foot in the ashram, bejewelled with the excitement of a corporate dynamo who is sanguine for a stellar outcome.

The journey of my transformation, experiences in the ashram and everything in between, will make for other stories.

Fast forward to my stepping out of the ashram as an Isha Hatha Yoga Teacher; the year 2016 produced not another Isha Hatha Yoga Teacher, but a fundamentally metamorphosed person.

Was I transformed? A thumping, positive, “Yes!”

People, more often than not, asked me about my deeper feelings on giving up a high-flying corporate mindset and lifestyle (with a pitiful face), to which I thanked them for their concern and smiled as my response (not mockingly), thinking we are still sleeping in the world of dense materialism. I am not against money, but I had realized that I can not rest the foundation of my life on the dry sand of acquisitiveness.

What you lose on the swings, you gain on the roundabouts.

If I lost a ‘so-called competitive zeal, glimmering lifestyle and a little more on those lines’, I experienced a transformation so magnificent that no mullah could buy it.

In my silence, sadhana, and admired solace, I was teaching, at full pace and momentum. However, it was time to break this silence and share, to douse the fire of people’s curiosity about what I have given up on this less-travelled path.

I would often think, we could use more silence as too much noise deafens us and dilutes our spiritual wisdom. Our instinct is to talk, to claim what we want, to feel entitled, to struggle in the furnace—to make noise. And this dooms our intuition, our inner voice, our tremendous ability to be in stillness.

💫 We could use some silence to experience our spiritual growth.

At the onset of my transition from the corporate class to a spiritual path, much migrated out of my life and I, happily witnessed it plummet—the need for attention, appreciation through social media likes, forced power struggles, right to be right, need for hoarding material accumulations, cutthroat competitive spirit, criminally-stubborn workaholism, and most importantly, the robotic whistle-stop life.

This path proved to be my nostrum for all the above and my illness (My Bloody Head reveals more about my revival from it).

When one morning I walked free of fear and integrated within myself in the Isha ashram (close to the completion of my teacher training), I was struggling to find the chatter in my mind. It was empty; yet alert. I was soaking everything around me yet not accumulating anything.

💫 It dawned on me that emptiness was the space of ‘Stillness.” 

Image credit: Isha Foundation 

I was affably shifting from the external world of agency power into the realm of my inner authentic power, while still enjoying worldly pleasure; consciously, free of compulsions to fit in. My journey provided me with both, but lopsided more to the newfound purpose.

My practices and teaching both calmed my thoughts when they would go on the loose, bolstered my sadhana, helped me track my limitations, act from the space of faith and compassion. I was unclogging to live a full-fledged life; with purpose, profundity, freedom and integrity.

The external power does work well in some settings and is even necessary worldly ammunition to have, but it is flogging a dead horse when it comes to finding inward growth, a higher self, and spiritual progress. I uncovered my potential on my yoga mat through rigorous sadhana, every single day which also bestowed on me, the epiphany of conceiving Yogamat Life, my humble venture of holistic wellbeing. This venture is reflective of the mindset of thriving at full potential through the profundity of Yoga and spiritual practices.

Yogamat Life is born. Humble beginnings at home.

My life as an Isha Hatha Yoga Teacher came into existence with the blessings from Sadhguru, which not only added value to my life but also touched others’ in significant ways.

💫 “Why am I doing this?” sometimes I would prod myself.

This was an occasional test to examine my true intent and see if the log of spiritual sadhana is still fervently burning.

The answers would come just at the right moment, in the most astonishing ways; sometimes from the miraculous stories of healing, renewed faith, transformation and spiritual journey of my participants, and the other times from my Guru in the most striking and unfathomable ways.

These seekers, participants hailed from various walks of life. Usually, they came with rigidities more in mind than the body besides many other reasons and walked out with remarkable outer changes, and inner experiences—ranging from physical, mental, emotional to energy-level and most prominently, the onset of their spiritual journey.

Becoming a conduit for well-being. Over 100 participants.

I was able to shed my old skin and it was a painful process with peaks and valleys,  but I was cognizant that it was under the divine order and would lead me to blissful experiences too.

💫  With a long journey of sadhana and time in the ashram, I felt present as against the cacophonous presence of my thoughts.

My perspectives shifted and so did my path.

The journey to becoming whole continued and is continuing under the design of the Divine. Many times, I fall off the fence and as it would, life goes in a downward spiral; only to galvanize me to continue my practices, cleaved with my Guru. 

Banner Image credit: Pixabay

Yoga mat images: Author’s (my own)