Walking Alone on the Path

I’ve been in the practice of unguided meditation for long time now. And I found my experience worth sharing with you all. There is something that I believe everyone here should know about me as I’m one of the latest members of O.S community. There are certain benefits and drawbacks of practicing unguided meditation. You feel secured and can proceed without an element of fear and doubt when a Guru is taking care of you but when you meditate with no enlightened soul around then you have to face the worst kinds of fears yourself (fear of going mad or dying are really the worst ones). The benefit is that the earlier you face them the sooner you get closer to the truth. One thing is for sure that you have to proceed on the path of truth alone and you are supposed to tackle them as soon as possible. 
So when I was going through such an existential crisis and struggling to make sense of the vastness and grandeur of the ‘Thing’ around, I began to search for the answers from the enlightened masters (that’s on the YouTube and other online platforms). It’s Swami ji’s simple and clear teachings and revelations which attracted me to join this spiritual family. 
I was born and brought up in a small village in Haryana (India) and did all of my education there only. I read no scripture. But I have been obsessed with the existential realities like the one of ‘death’ since my childhood (I can recollect it very clearly how genuinely I felt the anxiety). 
I began doing Yogasanas when I was in my sixth standard (no teacher taught me but learnt with the help of a book). I did them for a long time till ‘Baba Ramdev’ taught ‘Pranamas’ on T.V. Then I practiced ‘Pranayamas’ for a long time till I learn Shambhavi Mahamudra by Sadhguru (on YouTube). So I have been in the practice of Yoga for a long time but it’s been unguided and adventurous. Now I’m at a stage where I can dissolve myself in nothingness. But still I believe without a ‘Guru’ it’s not possible to reach the ultimate truth and I find ‘Swami ji’ ready to embrace me with his arms wide open.
I don’t worship or offer prayers nor have I any personal deity. I know what sweetness ‘devotion’ carries but I’m not a devotee. I’m a ‘Yogi’ who looks at things as they are. For me breaking the illusions and achieving clarity is the biggest goal and now I feel I’m in the right company…🙏