Would You Mind Moderating Your Words, Please!

Please accept my deepest Pranam at your Lotus Feet oh Swamiji. The more I am observing (and not watching) your videos, I am picking up a lot of take-aways. How can I convey my infinite gratitude to you for your divine presence in my life. ‘Thank You’ does not suffice. The word falls short to express my full emotion.

Today, I would like to touch upon some points where we can reframe our sentences with suitable words to make them more effective. Let me call them as ‘Moderator’. In my Nuclear Physics profession, I use a material known as moderator, the principal purpose of which is to slow down the Fast Neutrons (high energy carrying Neutrons). The material makes the neutron undergo multiple collisions thereby reducing its energy. After slowing down to sufficient level, the neutron causes the desired reaction. Had the fast neutron be allowed to interact, it would just have passed through without causing the desired reaction or would have caused some unwanted reactions. This is the effect of moderating material in case of Nuclear Physics.

Now let’s see what is “Moderator statements / words”.

Let us assume that you are very much upset with some mistakes committed by your partner. Even if you had warned your partner about the possible mistake, please do not jump on your partner with the statement, “I told you that, this won’t work out. But you stubborn fellow did not pay any heed to my words.” This statement is bound to create a good conflict. Instead try moderating your words, ” OK, sometimes we fail and they should be taken as opportunity to review our errors and take corrective actions. Inculcating the habit of listening to others is a good one to arrive at a reasonably good decision.” These words will have a different message to convey without hurting anyone’s ego.

Similarly, if you are in a confrontation mode with anyone just gently exit the argument with the words, ” That was my point of view of the matter. I may be not correct in my assumptions / opinion etc.” A golden rule of argument is if the opposite person is willing to listen, you have no pint in shouting. Also if the opposite person is not willing to listen, then also you have no point in shouting. So, in both the circumstances, there is no need for you to raise your decibel level. 

Some more moderating statements are

“You are wrong” => “I think you should review your decision / work / opinion”

“You are worthless” => “I think you should utilize your potential to a greater extent”

“You did the work very poorly” => “Please improve the style of your working as you can do better than this”

“You are stubborn enough not to see my point” => “You may be right from your frame of reference, but once try from my point of view also”

These are some examples which may not be perfect also. You can frame your own moderating statements / words which can be used appropriately. You can get a lot of such mindful words by watching Swamiji’s Video discourses minutely.  

On the occasion of Women’s Day I wish all the women readers “Happy Women’s Day”. I also request all the male readers to convey “Women’s Day” wishes to the women in their lives. Let’s raise a toast for all the women who manage their home, look after the kids, take care of the old age parents / in-laws, undertake a lot of sacrifice to maintain balance in everyone’s life, manage their jobs (for working women) and still complain very little.

Om Matru shaktaye namah. My obeisance at the feet of Mother Nature. Jai Shri Hari