Yes I Am Insensitive Towards Death

Death…the ultimate truth! As Swami ji says when we r born we are slowly inching toward death! I lost my paternal Grandmother at the age of 5 and remember was hungry and asking for bread jam when her body was being taken to cremation ground to be scolded by my grandfather that i was not understanding the critical and sensitive situation. My body was too hungry and mind too naive to understand anything or greive. Then a young death of my Father’s uncle when I was 10 ,i was told not to watch t v as situation was sad at home but i watched chitrahar in low volume feeling nothing changed in my world.When i lost my father after myself becoming a mother of 2 kids and being his only child i performed his last rights maybe the responsibility of arranging hospital bill, crematorium bills or claiming insurance aswell taking care of my mother made me too insensitive to even shed the required tears, he was the best and most precious man of my Life! Still did i eat pizza,sat in a.c and laughed with my 2 year old child the next evening only! Recently a neighborhood lady died to negligence in operation and my mother in law asked her family to send her dead body pics to see how dressed up she was to go for cremation ( her husband is alive and in Hindu tradition they send the woman s dead body as that of a bride when she dies). I find it quiet strange when for hours my in-laws watch death and cremation ceremonies of celebrities as Sridevi or Lata Mangeshkar,they have lunch watching these aswell discuss the saree material the body has been dressed into , the bindi it has worn or the colour of lipstick, ! R we so so insensitive or soo realistic i really wonder!