A Hypothetical Meet Between Mulla Nasruddin and Swamiji

Sastang dandavat at your lotus feet oh revered Swamiji. As you mentioned about the Mulla jokes I wrote during the personal meet, I got way too much delighted. After coming back, I have got the idea of writing this hypothetical conversation between you and Mulla. This is a tribute to you as well as Mulla Nasruddin. My Sadhana will be successful if I can bring some smile on your face even for a few seconds. Please accept this offering at your lotus feet. This is the way, I can show my bhakti oh Bhagwan. Advance apologies for any mistakes which got committed in the process. It is only for fun and no serious analysis. Request for all the readers: Please take it light and have some fun without any pun. In my Ashram visit series, I have made almost all readers cry. So let me compensate and let the Laugh Riot begin…

• Swamiji: Mulla, during my poorvashram, I had luxurious cars. I drove a Porsche on the iconic New York Bridge hitting the gas to clock 150 mph. What are your achievements in this regard?

          Mulla (after a brief silence): YOU MIGHT HAVE DRIVEN THE PORSCHE. BUT YOU ALSO GOT SPEEDING TICKET FOR EXCEEDING SPEED LIMIT! WITH MY DONKEY, I NEVER GOT ANY SUCH SPEEDING TICKET AND HE SPED AWAY ON HIS DONKEY BEFORE SWAMIJI COULD REPLY!

• Swamiji: Mulla, I am really tired with all the people thronging and I am very hard pressed for time. Please, tell me some solution to deal with the situation.

Mulla: PLEASE GET MARRIED AND YOU WILL FIND IT LOT EASIER TO HANDLE THE CROWD RATHER THAN HANDLING THE MOST DREADED WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE!

SWAMIJI CLEAN BOWLED! MULLA ROCKS!!!

• Swamiji: Mulla, aren’t you hurt with all these fighting between Russia and Ukraine. Lots of people are suffering day in and day out. What is your take on this?

Mulla: SIR, CAN’T YOU SEE MY INJURIES, I AM SEVERLY HURT RIGHT FROM THE DAY I MARRIED. THOUGH I HAVE PUT DOWN MY WEAPONS, I AM UNDER RUTHLESS ATTACKS FROM MY WIFE EVEN AFTER UNILATERAL CEASEFIRE AND COMPLETE SURRENDER. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY SUFFERING?

 Swamiji: ( with the rehne de feeling) Bas kar pagle, rulayega kya? Jai Shri Hari…

• Swamiji: Mulla, you are such a great human being. Why don’t you open an Ashram kind of thing like I have done to serve the mankind?

Mulla: SIR, I DID THINK ABOUT SUCH AN IDEA. BUT YOUR ‘MANKIND’ IS NOT ‘KIND MAN’ ANYMORE. WHEN DOCTOR ADVISED THEM  ‘KHANE K BAAD DO CHAMMACH LENA, ALL MY SPOONS STARTED VANISHING’. SO HAD TO SHORT CLOSE THE IDEA!

• Swamiji: Mulla, you are such a witty soul. What advice do you have for me?

Mulla: ‘NEVER GIVE ANY ADVICE’ IS THE GOLDEN ADVICE!

 Now it’s Mulla’s turn to initiate the discussion and Swamiji has to reply.

• Mulla: Sir, you say that you have done so much Sadhana and you have seen God. I also want to see God, but it is very difficult for me to do any Sadhana. Can I have a shortcut?

 Swamiji: YES, DEFINITELY! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET SOME HAIRS OF THE HIMALAYAN ‘YETI’, FEATHER OF A ‘DRAGON’, HORN OF A LIVING DINASOUR AND COME TO ME ON 30TH FEB. THAT’S ALL! IT’S SO SIMPLE. YOU WILL SEE THE GOD WITH THE SHORTEST SHORTCUT!

 Mulla sped away on his donkey!!!

• Mulla: Sir, can you elaborate your daily routine, so that I can also follow the same and have divine blessings?

Swamiji: YEAH MATE, SURE! HERE YOU GO (IN AUSSIE ACCENT): I GET UP AT 4 AM IN THE MORNING, PERFORM MY SADHANA, READ SCRIPTURES, CONTEMPLATE ABOUT REVIVING SANATAN DHARMA, CO-ORDINATE WITH THE APP DEVELOPERS, WRITE SOMETHING, DO WORK OUT, GIVE DISCOURSE TO DEEVOTIES, DO PERSONAL MEETINGS WITH THEM…

(Mulla interrupted…)

Mulla: BAS KARIYE SIR, BACHHE KI JAAN LENGE KYA!!!

• Mulla: Sir, I came to know that you can see previous births of all who come to you! Can you please enlighten me about mine?

Swamiji (After a huge sigh…): SEE MULLA, AS I CAN SEE, YOU AND YOUR DONKEY HAVE INTERCHANGED THE ROLES IN CURRENT BIRTH. MULLA’S DONKEY BRAYS ALOUD!

• Mulla: Sir, whenever I see you, your face glows like a powerful light. Can I know the secrete of your glory?

Swamiji: VERY SIMPLE, A GOOD QUALITY MOISTURIZER CREAM! THEN, SWAMIJI WISHED MULLA “GUDDAY MATE!” (IN AUSSIE STYLE).

• Mulla: Sir, I can eat a whole camel at a go; such large is my appetite. What about you?

Swamiji: I CAN FAST AND DO SADHANA FOR 22 HOURS A DAY CONTINUOUSLY AND CAN HAVE MY ONLY MEAL OF THE DAY EVEN WHEN THE ‘KIND COOK’ GOES ON EATING MY BRAIN WITH ALL THE BLAH BLAH IN THE WORLD TO TELL! WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Mulla: JAHANPANA, TUSSI GREAT HO!

So, The Result: Mulla 5, Swamiji 5. Match tied! Can anyone think of anything for the Super Over?

Thank you all and Jai Shri Hari…