I Found My Heaven in the Wreck.

“You’re too sad for this setup, too angry and unfulfilled. You need counselling”, they told me always. They thought of me as someone who is incapable of handling her emotions, being very crude and pessimistic. Some advised me to change my job and move to a place where not many know me.
And here I am, alive and blissed out. I found my heaven in the wreck.

About a decade ago this same place I now dance to express, surrounded by piles of the wood and water, was a beautiful home. Where I lived with my lovely family. I had a beautiful life, my parents loved me and our life was very simple, filled with happiness. It was their long wished dream that I become a stage dancer and that made me do everything I did as a child. From going to the navy school to then rushing to my practice sessions and taking lessons, everyone could see how my life was ‘set’. There was nothing I feared, I was brave and intimidated almost anybody the first time I met them. I was a happy child and had huge dreams that I knew I was going to fulfil.

It all came crashing down one day. I was out for my school and there was an announcement for emergency evacuation. Before anyone of us could realize what happened, we were all being taken away out to some room. In a little moment I learnt that we were being kept in hiding for there was a terrorist attack and almost the entire town had been taken. I panicked, I begged them to let me out as I wanted to be with my family, but they won’t. They told me I’ll be dead even before I meet them if I go out. I don’t even recollect how many days we spent there, but do remember coming back to a wreck. The sea next was dead and so were the birds around. And so were my people missing.
The hunt to find them was long and exhausting, but nobody found a trace of many people who disappeared that day.  May be the sea washed away their remains. May be the scavengers devoured all their remains. Nobody even knows if they survived or not. All I wanted was some closure. It took me ages to realize life is such, filled with uncertainty and much more than that to gain my balance and start living happily again.

I now live in the same wreck and made it my stage for dance. Through dance I found my expression. The sky has become clear and quiet, the water as always soothing. I do the same job they had once asked me to quit and move, for this place is my home. A home to many wonderful and kind people who knew what it could take to turn my anger and grief to bliss and peace. This place is where I live with my family, a family much bigger and so full of love. Isn’t the universe’s ways to get you closer to the Supreme indeed amazing?

PS : This is a fictional story, part of the mindful writing workshop by Medha ji.