The Mothers Treasurer

The Mothers Treasurer

Ah! we all know we are travelers on planet earth. A tourist can use things that they pay for. But the traveler neither owns the place nor the stuff in the place. Come, visit, enjoy and leave the place in a state where others who come later can enjoy too.

 The dilemma of what is enough in life plagues me many times. Having seen many springs in my life (49 to be precise), I debate with myself on my spending. I am used to a life style, but I find that those things don’t offer me happiness now- they are just a necessity. They don’t feel like an achievement any more.

I had given up my job long back. I work but the money that I earn is just about modest. I always prided self in spending what I earned but somewhere along the way I very conveniently sidelined this thought. Result I am spending often from the kitty hubby dear has provided for so generously.

Thanks to the social media algorithm, if one contributes to one medical cause that needs crowd funding, you shall be blessed with a stream of ads where people are suffering and need help. Now , know I can’t help everyone. But these ads keep popping up and you have to keep hiding them.

Like it or not, the world still runs on money. Despite a lot of love shared and good work done, the money counts as a major obstacle many times. Wealth for me means health, mental stability, emotional rootedness and also the money. The first three are pretty much in my hands, it’s the last one which has to be sourced from outside.

 The reason I write this today- I am becoming more and more aware that I shall carry back nothing with me. So just for fun,( on a serious note though) I am effectively here on earth as Divine Mothers Treasurer. She has given her wealth for safe keeping to me till I am here.  All resources are borrowed. Whatever resources I have, how do I use it – means how do I divide it between self and others.

Now here is where the real fun starts. Let’s consider some questions that I posed to myself as the interviewer -Ma kali and the interviewee-i.e. me.

1.       She- What services shall you provide as a treasurer to me?  (She is the owner, rite)

Me- I am trying to be a worthy human being who is at least not adding to the chaos in the world, definitely trying to add to the peace and love. (Though I doubt she needs me for this- remember she is ‘The Mother’)

2.       She- How much you want to be paid for it?

Me- Nothing specific but whenever I put my hands in my pocket, I should just have the right amount for my need. (Behold the human greed 😉).

3.       She-That’s a funny basis of your pay cheque- let’s make it better. How would you define a need?

Me- I have three kind of desires-

i)        desires that consume-the only person to benefit is me,

ii)       desires that commune being the ones which are transactional in nature where both of us benefit from our desire

iii)     desires that contribute- the beneficiary is the person in front of me.

In each of the three categories I am still confused what to give up as a desire and what to keep. At times a lot of decisions I make are spontaneous and emotional, thus lacking clarity. Examples for each of the three- Personal spending was just superfluous -the  desire was as misled as Rambh who mated with a buffalo to do away with his sexual urge

or the transaction was really not needed by either of us –partitioning an ancestral house because you can’t live together

 or the person in front of me was just making a fool of me. He really did not need the money, when I was helping them- this all of us know very well from our personal experience.

I have really no basis to define a need despite having a need, as of now.

4.       She-Ok, you shall have the wealth but you shall have to earn it, earnestly.

It was now my turn to ask the question

Me- How do I know what is the right way of earning? Each action can cause some harm to someone/ something, however hard I try.

5.       She smiled and just looked at me- You are accepted to be my treasurer. Use the position wisely.

And she vanished after this. I still did not have my work portfolio clearly spelled out and I was already employed. ( Imagine how dangerous  half information can be when handling mother’s wealth)

Me- Take me in your shelter ‘O’ Divine one. It’s thee I beseech. I can falter and fail in my duty as a treasurer. Please guide me always in your infinite merciful ways.

I still don’t have the answers except for just surrendering to her.

Any thoughts ……dear co treasurers. 😊

Jai Shri Hari 

Grace and gratitude 

Garima